Friday, November 5, 2010

8 Days: The Fear

8 Days! EIGHT Days! You can't hear me, but my voice sounds a little panicky at this point. I guess that means that today is as good a day as any to talk about my fears. Where do I start?

Sometimes I'm afraid I won't finish. Sometimes I'm afraid I'll get hurt. Sometimes I'm afraid I'll somehow blow all of my energy within the first 2 miles and have to crawl along the rest of the course. I'm afraid I won't be able to sleep the night before the race (this is a very real fear, that could actually be true) and will be so tired on race day, that I'll just be miserable the whole time and won't have it in me to do as well as I know I can do. Other times, I'm afraid I haven't prepared well enough, and on other days I'm afraid I'm too confident in my ability to finish, that I'm setting myself up for disappointment.  The other day, on a 10 mile run, about the time I was doubting I could finish, I got a perfectly-timed text message from Billy, encouraging me to keep going. It was all I needed to keep at it-- so other times, I worry that I won't see Billy and Eisley anywhere along the course, and I'll be disappointed. And, I often try to convince myself that I'm faster than I really am... I'm not fast. So I worry that, even if I do the best I can do, I will somehow be disappointed in that.

I think all of my race-day fears can be summed up this way: I worry that the mental "game" of running, will somehow get the best of me.  I never understood until recently, how much of the sport of running is MENTAL.

So... here's to positive thinking and putting away those fears!


Nicole Martin said...

Oh gosh woman! I am SO cheering you on...thanks for being my inspiration as I am just on week TWO of couch to 5K ;) :) :) GO Kelly GO! :)

Sarah said...

On the sleep thing... it's not the night before that matters most, but two nights before. Usually the stress the sets in the night before the race keeps you up, but don't let it worry you because it's Thursday nights' sleep that matters. You go girl!

Jessica said...

All very understandable fears but you have absolutely nothing to worry about! You are completely prepared and ready for this race. You will finish and you will be so very proud of yourself when you do. It will be a well earned victory. :)