Thursday, May 27, 2010

Mouth Off

Well. I'm about to show you my judgmental and shallow side. I'm sorry. You may think I'm crazy. You may think I'm being ridiculous. I probably am.

Below are my least favorite actresses. To say I dislike them would be an understatement.  They may be perfectly wonderful people, but I generally cannot watch a movie with any of these women in it. And since many of these ladies seem to be in practically every movie that's made these days, I just don't see many movies. I know. It's ridiculous. So without further ado, here they are (in no particular order):

Drew Barrymore

Angelina Jolie

Katie Holmes

Cameron Diaz

Joan Cusak 

Now. I did at one point realize that these women have one thing in common- they have weird mouths. They either do something weird when they speak, they have weird-looking lips (I know, I told you. I'm judgmental and shallow.), or there's something strange and annoying about the way they talk.  I began to think that that must be it. That must be the reason they annoy me. 

But then I remembered Julia Roberts. She has a very unusual mouth shape. And I adore her. She is one of my very favorite actresses. So that means there's only one logical conclusion: the other ladies are just bad actresses. And that's reason enough to avoid movies in which they star. It has nothing to do with their quirky mannerisms or voices. I'm not that shallow, surely. They are simply overrated, mediocre at-best. 

Don't judge me! Okay. Maybe I deserve to be judged on this one. But. I am willing to reconsider my opinion, if you can suggest a movie containing any of these women, that will change my mind about them. Go.

7 comments:

Sara said...

i agree with you on all except one...i love Drew Barrymore! probably it's because i was told i looked like her when i was younger (except for her mouth), and she's the star of my fave movie of all-time, Ever After...the others though, BLAH!!! esp. Ms. Jolie, barf!

Jessica said...

Ha! This is hilarious!! There are several actress that I absolutely can not stand just because of their voices. Honestly, it makes my skin crawl. OH! And Tyra Banks...if she comes on TV and I can't change the channel or turn it off, I have to leave the room. Ughhh! Gross.

But I actually adore Drew Barrymore too. I know she's not the best actress in the world...I just like her.

Kelly Lawson said...

I can't believe I forgot about Tyra Banks. I don't like her at all!

HOW in the world can you people like Drew Barrymore? She gets on my very last nerve! She's probably at the top of my don't-like list!

It makes no sense to many, I know.

Jessica said...

How can you not like Drew Barrymore? What'd she ever do to you?! :)

Jason and Abby said...

This blog cracked me up! I agree with 80% of your selections! I have no idea what they are like as people but they aren't my faves to watch on the silver screen either. Joan Cusak, however, is one of the women I do enjoy watching because she's just so darn quirky that it's hilarious! Case in point, High Fidelity when she goes storming into the record store and calls John Cusak's character an awful name but it was FUUU-NNY!!

Ms. Barrymore, don't like watching her but can't help but admire her for the awful childhood from which she overcame. Sometimes I still can't grasp the horrible reality a 9 year old lives in when she is an alcoholic. So, to her I respect knowing she has come from some crazy stuff and has become rather "successful".

This was a hoot to read.

Lindsay said...

Katie does something weird with her mouth? Didn't notice. Yes, Tyra is THE worst. I think you should add her, Kelly! And possibly Kristen Stewart...she lacks any and all personality and also has this, "I can leave my mouth agape & everyone thinks I'm sexalicious!" attitude. Was that going too far? ;)

L

Kelly said...

Ok, so I know I'm really late in commenting on this, but for Drew you should try 'Curious George'! She's the voice of the "friend" for the Man in the Yellow Hat. It'd be a good test to isolate her voice and see how that makes you react since it's an animated mouth out of which she speaks.